August 31, 2025
Is It Always In The Blood?
- Matt Nickoson
Sermon Notes
John Mayer: In The Blood
How much of my mother has my mother left in me?
How much of my love will be insane to some degree?
And what about this feeling that I'm never good enough?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
How much of my father am I destined to become?
Will I dim the lights inside me just to satisfy someone?
Will I let this woman kill me, or do away with jealous love?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
I can feel the love I want
I can feel the love I need
But it's never gonna come the way I am
Could I change it if I wanted?
Can I rise above the flood?
Will it wash out in the water
Or is it always in the blood?
Exodus 20:5-6 NIV
“You shall not bow down to them (idols) or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.”
Numbers 14:18NIV
“The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.”
Am I suffering because of choices my parents made?
Sin here is “Avon” = iniquity. It refers to the twisty/crooked nature of things because of my rebellion against God’s ways.
“God gave you a mother to protect, nurture, and mature you. She takes on part of (God’s) loving nature. Your mom, or some person in that role, was right there in the middle of your becoming you.” – Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, Our Mothers, Ourselves
“Research data show that sexual promiscuity among teenage girls is almost directly related to an absent father…If he starves her for his words, his delight, his attention, she will look for those things elsewhere.” - John Eldredge, You Have What It Takes
Genesis 12:11-13 NIV
As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.”
Genesis 26:7 NIV
When the men of that place asked him about his wife, he said, “She is my sister,” because he was afraid to say, “She is my wife.” He thought, “The men of this place might kill me on account of Rebekah, because she is beautiful.”
“You’re acting just like your Mother.”
“As a child, he had been severely punished every time he did something wrong, even if it was very minor. He learned early on to defend himself against any potential accusation of error or weakness. When he realized how the roots of his behavior extended back to his family of origin, he was able to start making changes.” – Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader
"His father was an immigrant who told Juan that he owed his parents a debt for all the suffering they had endured in order to bring him to the United States. Decades later, that message lives on in his bones. Once Juan saw it, he realized how far he was from living the love of God in the gospel. It catapulted him into a journey not only to revisit his relationship with his parents but to change his pace of life and the way he works. He will tell you that it has reduced his stress level 50 percent. The change is even evident in his physical appearance — he no longer looks haggard and rushed, but settled and at peace.” - Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader
Am I destined to become just like my parents?
Ezekiel 18:20 NIV
“The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.”
We each have a choice to walk with God.
“I believe that every human being is sufficiently depraved that when we get to heaven, no one will be able to say, ‘I merited this.’” – Dallas Willard
We all come from a broken system, and we are all handing off a broken system. That’s why having grace for our parents is so critical.
Ephesians 6:2-3 NIV
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
“I brought you into this world, I’ll take you out of it and make another one that looks just like you.” – Bill Cosby’s Mom
How do I get a different fruit to grow on my tree than my parents had on theirs?
“Honor your mother and your father” is a recurring theme throughout the entire Bible. Yet, we also need to be honest, tell the truth, take responsibility, heal, forgive, and grieve at the same time that we honor mom.” - Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend, Our Mothers, Ourselves
See It (both bad and good)
Grieve It or Celebrate It
Forgive It or Multiply It
Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Look for it