The Loop

Have you ever noticed a rotten fruit in your life that you can't seem to change no matter what? Do you have sinful patterns or unhealthy behaviors that keep growing and hurting the people you love, but no matter how hard you try, you just aren't finding a different way forward? 

I recently held up a disgusting, thawed banana during my sermon - stinky, mushy, and leaking all over my table. While it got a laugh, it perfectly illustrated what happens when we allow unhealthy patterns to fester in our lives. The question is: how do we stop producing this kind of fruit? 

The Root of Our Rotten Fruit 

When we find sin or unhealthy behaviors growing as fruit on our tree, it's coming from somewhere. Fear drives these behaviors - fear of not being enough, fear of not measuring up, fear of not having enough, fear of missing out. But below that fear is something even deeper: shame. 

Shame comes from two places: the things we have done that we're embarrassed about, and the things others have done to us that have wounded us. This shame creates fear in us, and we keep repeating these destructive cycles. 

Living in the "Already But Not Yet" 

As followers of Jesus, we live in what theologians call "the land of the already, but the not yet." As 1 Peter 1:3-4 reminds us: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy, he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade." 

We are already saved by Jesus Christ through faith. God has already promised us heaven and eternity will be ours. But heaven has not yet come. Jesus has not yet returned. 

This means that while Jesus wants to produce new fruit in our lives, occasionally we still get some stinky fruit growing on our trees. As James writes, "We all stumble at many times and in many ways." But Jesus has promised us a different seed, a seed that wants to do something in us. 

Replacing Fear with Faith 

The foundation for transformation is replacing fear with faith. We must challenge ourselves to believe that Jesus is who he said he is and that he'll do what he said he'll do. 

Peter writes in 1 Peter 1:13, "Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming." Instead of turning to mind-numbing substances to cope with pain, we can put our hope in heaven and live like Jesus in this life because we are absolutely confident that this life is not all there is. 

Two Critical Action Steps 

With this foundation in place, I want to challenge you to two very difficult actions that can break the cycle of unhealthy fruit in your life: 

1. CONFESSION: BRINGING SIN INTO THE LIGHT

When you have identified the things in your life that you have done to hurt others, you need to confess it. You need to bring it into the light. 

As John Ortberg wisely notes: "Bland confession is like taking a shower with your clothes on. You avoid the embarrassment of nakedness, but it's hard to get clean. Often in church groups, the only sins that get confessed are vague and respectable, almost virtues... Where the practice of confession is superficial, the experience of grace will be superficial." 

1 John 1:8-9 tells us, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 

Who should we confess to? To God, to ourselves, and to another trustworthy human being. Your confession should come to a trusted friend, perhaps a private Christian counselor or a pastor - somebody who knows what to do with what you're telling them. 

2. FORGIVENESS: LETTING GO OF WHAT OTHERS HAVE DONE

In Matthew 18, Jesus tells the parable of the unmerciful servant who was forgiven an impossible debt (equivalent to 160,000 years of work) but refused to forgive someone who owed him just 100 days' wages. The lesson is clear: we must forgive others as we have been forgiven. 

 Jesus wants to do through us what He has already done for us. That’s why He challenges us to forgive completely, wholly, and perfectly. To forgive completely is a decision to make four commitments (from Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker): 

1. "I will not dwell on this incident." This doesn't mean you won't remember it, but you choose not to fixate on it.
2. "I will not bring up this incident against you and use it against you." You won't weaponize it to hurt them.
3. "I will not talk to others about this incident." You won't gossip about it or spread rumors.
4. "I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship."

Putting It Into Practice 

What would happen if you were to take a chance and confess something that you've never confessed, or forgive something that you're holding on to? Here are some practical next steps: 

1. Make a fearless moral inventory - Look deeply at yourself, what you've done that others don't know about, and the motives behind your actions.
2. Find a safe person to confess to - Someone spiritually mature who can handle your confession with grace and wisdom.
3. Identify who you need to forgive - Who has wounded you that you're still holding resentment toward?
4. Pray the Serenity Prayer - "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
5. Remember grace - As you work through confession and forgiveness, remember that when Jesus returns, grace—not condemnation—awaits those who are in Christ.

 

Jesus didn't enter this world and endure the cross to look at victims and say, "I don't care how much they hurt you, suck it up and let it go!” He did it to look at us and say, "I get it. I get how hard this is. I get how this feels. When I came into your world to love you, they crucified me, too!." And yet, hanging on the cross, he looked at the people who had just stripped him naked and were gambling for his clothes, and said, "Father, forgive them. They don't understand what they're doing." 

That's the fruit He wants to produce in us. 

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