October 8, 2023
Do You Hear Me?
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Grow Always: We are always learning and growing. We don't have everything it takes, but He does. We humbly and intentionally ask for help and feedback so we can be better.
Proverbs 9:8-9 NIV
Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
Every family has toxic moments. It's how we handle the toxicity that determines if we are healthy or not.
Proverbs 18:1-2 NIV
An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends, and against all sound judgment starts quarrels. Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.
Proverbs 27:15-16 NIV
A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
Proverbs 27:17 NIV
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
"The rift isn't as important as the repair." - April Bordeau, Care to Change
Proverbs 19:11 NIV
A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense.
James 5:16 NIV
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
God gave us two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.
James 1:19 NIV
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
James 1:20 NIV
because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
Step 1: Empathetically hear them to understand.
You will know you've heard them when:
a. They are done speaking (don't interrupt).
b. You think you understand what they are saying.
c. You think you understand why they are saying it.
Step 2: Put yourself in their shoes, and affirm their thoughts, ideas, and/or feelings.
a. Use "wow" before "how".
Ex. Wow, I had no idea I was making you feel that way. Wow, that must be really hard for you… I'm so sorry)
b. Reflect back to them what you heard them say.
Ex. It sounds like you are really irritated when I…", or "it sounds like you are really missing having a connection with me."
c. If you find you misunderstood, go back to step 1 and listen some more.
Step 3: Seek resolution on how to move forward.
a. How can I help you?
b. What can I do differently next time?
c. Is there anything I can do to make this right?