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October 8, 2023

Do You Hear Me?

Sermon Notes

Text "MARRIAGE" to 317.565.4911

Grow Always: We are always learning and growing. We don't have everything it takes, but He does. We humbly and intentionally ask for help and feedback so we can be better.

Proverbs‬ ‭9‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.

Every family has toxic moments. It's how we handle the toxicity that determines if we are healthy or not.

Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends, and against all sound judgment starts quarrels. Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.

Proverbs‬ ‭27‬:‭15‬-‭16‬ ‭NIV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.

Proverbs‬ ‭27‬:‭17‬ ‭NIV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

"The rift isn't as important as the repair." - April Bordeau, Care to Change

Proverbs‬ ‭19‬:‭11‬ ‭NIV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense.

James‬ ‭5‬:‭16‬ ‭NIV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

God gave us two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.

James‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬ ‭NIV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

James‬ ‭1‬:‭20‬ ‭NIV‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Step 1: Empathetically hear them to understand.  

You will know you've heard them when:

a. They are done speaking (don't interrupt).

b. You think you understand what they are saying.

c. You think you understand why they are saying it.

Step 2: Put yourself in their shoes, and affirm their thoughts, ideas, and/or feelings.

a. Use "wow" before "how".

  • Ex. Wow, I had no idea I was making you feel that way.  Wow, that must be really hard for you… I'm so sorry)

b. Reflect back to them what you heard them say.

  • Ex. It sounds like you are really irritated when I…", or "it sounds like you are really missing having a connection with me."

c. If you find you misunderstood, go back to step 1 and listen some more.

Step 3: Seek resolution on how to move forward.

a. How can I help you?

b. What can I do differently next time?

c. Is there anything I can do to make this right?

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Kingsway Christian Church
7981 E County Road 100 N | Avon, Indiana 46123