Men's Devotion

Promises
a devotion by Kevin Carr

"When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes and oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said." (Numbers 30:2)

I recently helped a couple at Kingsway renew their wedding vows on their tenth anniversary. The event made me think a lot about marriage, about the sacredness of the promises we make to our wives when we stand sweating and nervous at the altar in a rented tux on that special day, and about what it really means to be a man.

Marriage is a beautiful, special, sacred thing, given to us by our Father, to sweeten and strengthen our lives. In an age when the world teaches us that loved-ones are expendable and relationships are interchangeable accessories, a faithful, loving marriage is a powerful counter-cultural statement. A loving marriage, based on kept promises, might just be the thing that speaks loudest about your faith to all who witness it.

When we look into someone's soul and make a promise--on our wedding day or any other day, for that matter--it is an extremely significant and meaningful thing. All of us who are blessed to be married (or who will one day be married) have stared into our wives' eyes and made some of the most meaningful promises we'll ever make. They're meaningful for at least three reasons.

First, the promises we make to one another represent, for all to see, the faithful love of our God. He has pledged himself to us as believers, his Church, his bride. And when the world sees our love for one another and our fidelity to the promises we make to our spouses, they see God.

Second, the promises we make are meaningful because of those in whose presence they are made. They are made in the presence of the people who know us best and who have invested in our lives. Parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, people who have known us our entire lives, are all in the audience. We ask our closest friends to stand beside us to witness the promises we make to one another. We make our promises in front of a minister whose job it is to remind us of the importance and spiritual nature of our promises. And, most importantly, we make promises to our husband or wife before our Heavenly Father who sees through to our hearts, our motives, our intentions, our fears and our hopes. Certainly, it is a weighty thing to stand before the Creator of marriage and to make sacred promises to another person, who He created in His image, for whom he has a purpose and for whom He has demonstrated his love. To make a vow in the presence of these witnesses is a serious, wondrous, awesome thing.

Finally, our promises are meaningful because they sustain us. Marriage is difficult because life has a way of sneaking in some huge struggles. All marriages go through better times and worse times. They go through seasons of plenty and want. They necessitate that we stand by one another during bouts of sickness and times of health. We learn to persevere through the pain of the difficult times and to embrace the joy of the good times.

So, what does this all have to do with being a man? From the least promise ("I'll call you at noon.") to the greatest promise ("Till death do us part."), real men are faithful. Bottom line, it takes guts, resolve, courage, faith, discipline, strength, vision, prayer, and deep love to remain faithful to our promises. The very stuff of masculinity is the stuff that empowers us to fulfill our promises. It's not manly to run away from a family who needs you. We're not big and tough when we withhold our love from our wives. We men have been called to stand, in the strength of the One who is faithful to his promises, and keep the promises we've made. It's only then that we're truly being the men God has created us to be.